$40 T-shirt

I went to the company fair and all I got was this lousy t-shirt … oh, and a sunburn. I did all the right things: bought my $40 vendor spot; set up my table on time; and loaned the organizers my roll of scotch tape.

I gave them tape, people. You’d think that would get me a primo spot, but instead I was stuck behind the South Carolina Shuckers: a booth that sold nothing but decorative knives for shucking clams. I was all alone on the back row, right across from the Filipino Buffet trailer. People were jogging past me, trying not to make eye contact, intent on loading up on lumpia. I sold zero books.

Please enjoy Parnell Hall’s lament on book signings, while I go cry in the corner.

11 thoughts on “$40 T-shirt

  1. Thanks for teaching me about lumpia. I have Filipino relatives who will be impressed when I show up with egg rolls. Maybe I’ll bring your book along too.:)

    • I really love lumpia, as long as I’m not in the middle of a lumpia stampede.

  2. I love lumpia. That would be some tough competition for sure. Maybe I’ll take some along to chew on when I finally do a book signing. After seeing this video, I’m “skeered”.

  3. Love the video! I’ll have it playing in my head next weekend for my next book signing.

  4. And it’s not like a bottle of scotch as a bribe will work either to get a better spot!

    The non-seafood eater in me has to ask… shucking?

    • Where clams are involved, one must shuck before he can suck. (Woo, that sounds dirty.)

  5. Never heard of lumpia but the video was hilarious and so true. I had a one book signing and there was a blizzard that day and I only sold 4 books. After that I was traumatized and never had another book signing.

  6. That’s why I hate doing booksignings. You can spent hours just sitting there. Group signings are fun, though. I once did a 21-author signing at a B. Dalton that was great fun. Oddly enough, we can sell each other’s books easier than we can sell our own.

    Hmmm, that gives me an idea. You have books out, I have books, Linton, Cammy May, Mike, Barry, Beth , Eve, Lisa and Erin all have books out and William will soon have a book out. If we could get everyone together in one place….

  7. My mom lives in Phoenix. We can all party at her house afterwards. I’ve never been to Twentynine Palms, but several of my family members went to boot camp there. Wonder why they didn’t like it.

    Norma, I’m happy to sleep on your floor, you don’t have to give up your bed.

  8. Vegas Baby. Tons of people who will spend money on anything! Even my book–which by the way is not exactly printed yet.

  9. My friend Devon would love to do a book signing…since her book is fabulous, but she’s a tad on the shy side. I, myself, have never done one. I guess I’m too shy for it, and not much of a seller. Heck, I don’t think I could sell water to a thirsty person…

    Getting together in one place would be something great…but, unfortunately, I can’t afford it…not right now. I haven’t sold a million books yet…

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