Why is it illegal to carry a goldfish on a city bus in Seattle unless it remains still? Apparently, if your fish is sloshing around, it disturbs the other passengers. You also are not allowed to set fire to other people’s property without their permission, which makes arson legal under the right circumstances. I suppose the people most disturbed by the sound of sloshing water are the same ones who are setting fire to the backseat of city busses.
When I was growing up in Seattle, hanging was the mandatory form of capital punishment in Washington State. Now the default form is lethal injection, although you can still choose hanging if you prefer. Walla Walla, Washington has the only working gallows in the country for those idiots who have a fear of needles.
Washington is certainly not alone in its weird laws. In St. Louis, it is illegal to sit on the curb of a city street and drink beer from a bucket. In Hartford Connecticut, you are not allowed to cross the street while walking on your hands. In Boise, Idaho, residents may not fish while seated on a giraffe’s back. That doesn’t come up as often in New York or San Francisco, although in San Francisco, it is illegal to wipe one’s car with used underwear.
In New Jersey, you may not slurp your soup. In Pennsylvania, it is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. In Texas, it is a felony to own more than six dildos (thank goodness I live in South Carolina). In Florida, unmarried women parachuting on Sundays risk arrest or a fine. If you’re in Cleveland, be sure to get your hunting license before you catch mice.
What on earth prompted this legislation? I’d always been proud of the fact that my hometown does not allow you to hitch your horse up backwards on city streets. Once I started reading about other ordinances still on the books, I realized that horse poop on the sidewalk is not the worst social injustice known to man. If only we’d known last week that in the U.S., idiots are not allowed to vote.
For more dumb laws, you can go to http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states and look up your state.