$40 T-shirt

I went to the company fair and all I got was this lousy t-shirt … oh, and a sunburn. I did all the right things: bought my $40 vendor spot; set up my table on time; and loaned the organizers my roll of scotch tape.

I gave them tape, people. You’d think that would get me a primo spot, but instead I was stuck behind the South Carolina Shuckers: a booth that sold nothing but decorative knives for shucking clams. I was all alone on the back row, right across from the Filipino Buffet trailer. People were jogging past me, trying not to make eye contact, intent on loading up on lumpia. I sold zero books.

Please enjoy Parnell Hall’s lament on book signings, while I go cry in the corner.

Famous author can write without moving her lips

OK, so I’m not famous, but I only had to sound out the long words as I wrote, so the title of this blog is half true. Yesterday was my first book signing. I was thrilled to be able to introduce Box of Rocks in Summerville, which is the town in which it was set. We had a good turnout, and I made a lot of new friends.

One of the things I enjoyed most about writing the book was the dialogues between the two main characters. At the signing, I was able to pull off normal conversation pretty well, but get me with friends and family and the conversation starts to read like my book.

For example: Last night I was telling my daughter about the signing, and talk naturally turned to the use of a loved one’s articles of clothing as emergency toilet paper. Her argument was that if your significant other is incapable of changing an empty toilet paper roll, he should not leave his dirty socks on the bathroom floor. Her logic was flawless, so I couldn’t help but agree. Her husband was the lone dissenting vote in the conversation.

But I digress.

As I went through my mental checklist before leaving for the signing, uppermost on my mind was whether or not to wear my Spanx and enjoy the benefits of tummy-tucking underwear. Uncharacteristically, I thought this one through before acting. Let’s see, the store is small, so I’ll be spending some time outside. I wonder how many firemen it would take to peel my heat prostrated butt out of industrial strength Lycra?

Getting to the event involved nearly getting impaled by a folding chair that came flying into the front seat at a stop light, and nine unruly balloons reminded me of what it was like to have small children in the backseat. In the end, my carefully coiffed curly hair went flat, my mascara was grating across my eyeballs, and I had a wonderful time.

I want to thank my friend, Katie for keeping me organized and helping with the event (and so much more). Thanks also to Beverly and Kathy at the Trade-a-Book store for having us. If you’re ever in Summerville, South Carolina, look them up. They’ll take your used books for store credit and make you feel at home, even if you’re not wearing Spanx.

If you’d like a signed copy of Box of Rocks, you can purchase a book at the Adoro Books website, then drop me a note at info@restaurant-e-guide.com to let me know how you’d like it inscribed.