The year started peacefully enough, with me working on my book, and my husband working on trucks big enough to squash a fully loaded mini-van (preferably, not occupied). He had to turn down a cabinet post, because Washington D.C. is just too damn cold in the winter, and frankly, Secretary of Waste Management is just a nice way of saying “full of shit.”
As usual, we had to put up with ninjas this year. These guys must have been hired from Bernie’s school of ninjas and auto repair. True story: my kids and I were enjoying burritos on the patio of a cheap Mexican restaurant, when we spotted two men across the parking lot. They were staring intently at us while trying to act casual. They were wearing suits and just standing around for an hour. Occasionally they would give each other a man hug, just to break the tension.
They leapt into their car as we left, but I managed to lose them at the drive-through ATM. Obviously, they had forgotten their pin number.
In March, an online friend of mine proposed that we compile a humor anthology (My Funny Valentine makes a great Valentine’s Day gift, and is now available at Amazon for $9.95 plus shipping and handling. Just sayin’.) We wanted to showcase some really talented humor writers from around the country, and we’ve received some excellent reviews, thanks to our amazing contributors.
I published my own first book this year with Box of Rocks, a humorous mystery (see sidebar for multiple ways to click and spend money add this book to your collection.)
Now, back to the truly important matter. Christmas dinner is fast approaching, and my friend is lobbying hard to cook the stuffing in the bird. First of all, why don’t they call stuffing what it is, gooey bread surprise. People have taken this to the extreme of stuffing a bird with more birds – hence, the turduckhen. I’m not particularly emotionally invested in soggy bread, so I caved and gave my blessing on allowing her to stick unidentifiable semi-foodlike substances inside a turkey carcass. Also, she threatened to kick me.
I’d like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year. Thanks to all of you for putting up with my foolishness for the year, and God Bless us All, Everyone!