Always use new underwear to wipe your car

Why is it illegal to carry a goldfish on a city bus in Seattle unless it remains still? Apparently, if your fish is sloshing around, it disturbs the other passengers. You also are not allowed to set fire to other people’s property without their permission, which makes arson legal under the right circumstances. I suppose the people most disturbed by the sound of sloshing water are the same ones who are setting fire to the backseat of city busses. Continue reading

The eyes have it

Take fur Advil at the fist fight of a haddock, and on ever birthday theater? If I didn’t have a headache before going into the pharmacy, I did by the time I left. That tiny bottle had a fold out instruction sheet – an analgesic centerfold! I dashed for the magnifying glasses aisle, only to be able to make out that there was indeed actual printing on the label. Little did I know that a vision test was required for over the counter pain relief. Continue reading