Buttcrack cocaine and other weird stories

I don’t like to see people get hurt, yet, I will watch Smoking Gun’s World’s Dumbest and laugh my ass off at stunts that, if I tried them would put me into intensive care. So when is it OK to laugh at other people’s pain and humiliation?

Case One – Laughable:

Manatee sheriff: Man says cocaine in his buttocks isn’t his.

After pulling over a 25 year old man for speeding, the officer smelled marijuana in the car and called for backup. When police patted him down, they found marijuana clenched between his buttcheeks. He admitted that the drugs were his. Upon a second pat-down, the police found a bag with 27 rocks of crack cocaine hidden in the same anatomical area. At first he seemed mystefied as to how the crack had ended up in his end. Then he admitted that he was basically just holding it for a friend.

Case Two – Questionable:

Las Vegas hotel’s ‘Death Ray’ burns guests.

A design flaw at the new Vdara Hotel in Las Vegas causes reflective glare off the curved twin towers to concentrate, pinpointing guests at the hotel’s pool. In some cases this has caused severe burns.  One lawyer lying out by the pool was suddenly so hot that he had to run for the shade. That’s when he smelled an odd odor and realized that his hair was on fire.

Case Three – OMG I shouldn’t be laughing at this:

Woman trips after being stung by a wasp. Serious injury averted by swelling.

A Ladson woman sitting on her porch was stung on the lip by a wasp. Flailing her arms wildly at the creature still buzzing angrily around her head, and stunned by the burning pain of her lips inflating like a rubber life raft, she failed to successfully negotiate the patio furniture and did a face plant on the concrete. Afterwards she was quoted as saying, “I was sure that I’d broken some of my teeth, but fortunately, my lips broke my fall.”

The third case was recounted to me by my daughter as she was trying not to drool while sipping her soda through a straw.

5 thoughts on “Buttcrack cocaine and other weird stories

  1. These links were hilarious – I think the man with the coke in his butt should definitely go down in history as the worlds dumbest drug smuggler – until you prove me otherwise!

    Found your blog on the blog promo group on the Writer’s Digest forum – just wanted to drop in and say hi!

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