My husband is one of the worst gift receivers that I know. He’ll open a present, look at it appraisingly, then tell you why it’s not good enough. He got his NASCAR tickets yesterday, but they were just E tickets printed off the computer. “Gee, they’re not slick and glossy and commemorative.” What? Did he want to frame them?
The coup de gras came when he received his present from me, a new toilet seat. You have to understand that my husband takes his Sudoku and the crossword puzzle into the bathroom with him. The kids got him new Sudoku books and an electonic poker game (for special occasions). They explained that on Sundays (the Lord’s day) he can play poker while pooping. How well they know him!
My gift, however, met with his usual lack of appreciation. He’s been asking for a new toilet seat, and I finally came through. It was not, however, padded. If I really loved him, I would forget my distaste for sitting on anything squishy, and get the toilet seat that he really wanted.
“Look sweetie, it has the new no-slam lid.”
“It’s bacteria resistant.”
Some people just don’t appreciate the latest in toilet technology. Unfortunately, I no sooner said this, than I felt the call of nature myself. I settled in, then realized I was going to be there for awhile—long enough to regret my choice of bathroom appliances. A no-slam lid suddenly seemed pretty unimportant.
Now he wants a refrigerator with a television mounted in the door. No way am I getting him the 42” big screen model with the built in ice maker, but maybe I may relent and get the one with the poker game.