I do not have a poker face, although I’ve been told that I look upset when my mind is a complete blank. This only becomes a problem when I’m driving, writing, or doing long division. You need only look at me to know exactly what I’m thinking, which usually involves the quantity of new gray hairs on my head. Rarely do I think about Quantum Physics or clowns.
Lately, my face is showing a state of chaotic happiness. I have well beloved house guests, and the hostessing skills of a Marine drill sergeant. There are no Martha Stewart sheets on the beds, no bouquets of flowers in the guest rooms, and the bathroom is BYOS (bring your own soap). If my guests actually want to eat, I have crackers, dry cereal (Cheerios: no milk), and canned corn.
Fortunately they put up with my lack of social graces. I have, however, had to make some new arrangements. The new bed blocks one side of the double doors to the spare room. I had to put up a sign to remind myself which door to use. Hey, I’m old, and I get confused easily.
Please use other door
Don’t make me break out the hand puppets |
Little things get magnified, but with a lot of love and understanding, things work out OK. That said, I’m running away. Honestly. I have my out-of-town workshop this weekend, so guests are on their own for 4 days. I trust them not to have wild parties or herd buffalo through the kitchen. Sometimes, self-deception can be a wonderful thing.
Being surrounded by the people you love is such a blessing. If you want to come by, the welcome mat is always out. Just try to avoid stepping in the buffalo chips on the kitchen floor.
So, do you ever watch “Survivorman”? He can do amazing things with buffalo chips. Seriously. Actually, in one episode, he set a cow chip on fire. Said it was good fuel and burned a long time. He was boiling water over it. You gotta wonder what that boiled water tasted like. Must have had quite an aroma, too. Yikes.
How did I get on that subject? I do tend to drift. Just ignore me. I go away eventually.
HUGssss!
So now it finally comes out. All this time I thought BYOB means bring your own booze and it actually means bring your own buffalo. What an informative post!
There be spammers here, I see…
Well, if you must herd buffalo through the house, at least have the courtesy of using the handpuppets while doing so, right?
I’m sure your guests are bedazzled with your warm and amazing personality! I’m glad they and you are enjoying the visit. And where is your writer’s workshop, lucky gal? Enjoy it!
That’s it, I’m moving in!!
Very funny.
Pearl