Wednesday I went to the doctor’s for excruciating pain in my knee. In the commercials, a woman grabs her knee in pain as she’s going upstairs. She pops a couple aspirin and the next frame shows her taking the stairs three at a time while doing long division. I took Vicodin and still looked like I was recovering from a stroke while climbing stairs. Mathematical operators were the last thing on my mind.
X-rays revealed that I have osteo-arthritis. Now here’s my problem. Rheumatoid arthritis gets all the commercials and all the sympathy. Osteo-arthritis is like the poor second cousin who comes to sleep on your couch and eat all your cheese balls.
When I told my husband, “I can’t be on my feet long enough to make you dinner tonight,” his reaction was, “Oh boo-hoo.” He had the nerve to be annoyed. He showed his displeasure by bringing home hot wings. He knows I hate wings—they’re just skin and gristle on a stick. His passive aggressive dietary habits did not go unnoticed.
That’s when my survival instincts kicked in. Arthritis be damned, I dove on the potato salad like a vulture on road kill. The cheese balls were soon to follow. This wouldn’t have bothered me if I hadn’t recently rung the bell on the doctor’s scale.
The doctor gave me a tube of ibuprofin gel. What will they think of next? I don’t like to turn on the bathroom light and disturb my sweetie when he’s sleeping, so this morning, as I gelled up my knee, something didn’t feel right. I turned on the light and discovered that I had spread toothpaste on my knee. The fluoride and whitening power were little comfort, but my knee is now minty fresh.
Tonight I will try for a little normalcy. I’ll shave the front of my leg (nobody looks at the back anyway), hobble to the phone, and order a pizza. It may not make a difference on the doctor’s scale, but I’m getting tired of eating cheese balls.
Boo-hoo? Hubby should be more sympathetic.
Toothpaste on your knee? Now that’s funny!!!
I love wings. You can have all the potato salad and cheese balls. I think the wings were a subliminal message from the honey that he’s the wind beneath your wings. How sweet.
In this economy it’s great knowing that toothpaste can be used for other things too–like knees. Who would have known? 🙂
I feel strangely compelled to brush my knee tonight.
So… What brings on Osteo-arthritis?
Injury or old age – in my case, too many squat thrusts in elementary school P.E. class.
You have my sympathy. I have osteo-arthritis in both knees and my right shoulder. My knees would be better if I lost 100 pounds, I know. I have never tried applying toothpaste to the knees…that’s different. You never know when someone might come around knee-sniffing; I should be prepared!
Thankfully, my hubby knows how to cook.
Oh my dear, we suffer from the same knee problem. I’m having a lot of trouble these days. I’ve tried the drugged creams, with no luck. I don’t take a regular pain killer, but sometimes when it gets really bad, I’ll pop a Lortab. And, strong as they are, they only dull it a little bit. I use ice packs when I’m in the easy chair, but I have no idea if they’re helping either. So I hear ya, girlie. And I’m sorry you’re having knee issues.
But try to have a good weekend, k? HUGZZZ
Sorry you’re going through that too. I think the least our loved ones can do is put up with our whining and kvetching.
I have a feeling he’ll end up getting his, one way or the other.
The man never even had a backache…ever! Argh!
When my wife is out of commission, I usually offer to cook. Once I’m in “her” kitchen, she is suddenly more energized and hovers . . . watching carefully and giving “advice”. She forgets I’ve been cooking longer than she has.