Time management from an underachiever

This is my typical day. You’ll notice that I spend about 17 hours a day on the computer. How do I do it? (Try to sound sincerely interested when you ask). I have insomnia, I don’t get out much, I rarely watch TV, and I wait till my leg hairs are curling before I shave.

My friend just published a book. He finds time to work two jobs, volunteer as a fireman, and write. All of us underachievers hate him (in the nicest possible way). Of course, he doesn’t have to shave his legs or pull down his pants to pee—definite time savers.

It’s obvious that I don’t get out much. Actual social interaction may be a necessary component of the human condition, kind of like watching American Idol, but I tend to eschew both. This gives me time to look up “eschew” in the dictionary.

My project for today is to learn to make a video book trailer. This would be easier if I could figure out how to a) paste a You Tube video on my website, b) find 3 midgets and a parrot to hum Wind Beneath my Wings. Maybe I need to set the bar a little lower.

Damn! Now I have that song stuck in my head.

I consider myself very fortunate that I can make my own schedule, be my own boss, and avoid spending eight hours a day swilling coffee and trying to look busy in a windowless cubicle. Also, I don’t have to change my underwear every day.

You wouldn’t know it to read my blogs, but I’m a very focused person. I just tend to focus on the number of pudding cups left in the box, and the length of my toenails. I haven’t found a job description yet to cover that.

Do what you must to make it through the day. I’ll just be over here contemplating how to paste a You Tube video and humming Wind Beneath my Wings.

19 thoughts on “Time management from an underachiever

  1. I volunteer to be one of the three midgets. If you promise to stop smoking.

  2. LOL You know, it’s difficult to time manage when you work, want to write, have family issues and yes, find the time to shave our pits and legs. I want to play on the internet, blog and work on my WIP, but also look after an 8 year old and a 40 year old…all while working fulltime. Yeah, I’m with ya in the time management woes. But, thank goodness I work 12 hour shifts…more days off in between. Any suggestions for you? No, I’m coming up empty. Oh, and I’ll be a midget too…I’ll be the fat one.

  3. Time?

    That disappeared when I got my pension…

    Management??

    My etymology dictionary seems to be saying that comes from handling horses with the hands…

    My hands are on the computer and it ain’t got much horsepower………

    • My computer froze up the other night, and I was afraid I’d have to fire up my husband’s old diesel powered relic.

  4. Oh, lovely Karla…..you just described my 21 months of unemployment. It’s been 3 weeks and I must say, I miss those days terribly! I have shaved my legs four times already, in 3 weeks! That’s more times than all of 2010 I am quite sure. It’s a shame is what it is. Now I’m that windowless cubicle chick. Oy vey. Upside is, we won’t be evicted from our apartment any time soon. That’s a relief.
    And the underwear? My son says it you wear them one day and them turn them inside out, you can get an extra day’s wear. He’s thrifty (and lazy) that way. I’m so proud.

    • You’ve shaved more than once a week?! I wouldn’t shave all summer if it weren’t for shorts. Just one of the many adjustments for entering the working world. I haven’t turned my underwear inside out yet today. I better get on that.

  5. We may need an exorcist to cleanse our brains of the horrible Bette Midler song that just won’t stop rattling around in our heads…..

  6. Karla, my graph is almost identical to yours. Take out the smoke breaks and increase the sleeping/rest time and that’s me. Hey, we’re not underachievers. We’re making breakthough time dinking on the computer research. Right? We should get a grant from the govt to cover this.

  7. But how do you KNOW I don’t shave my legs or pull my pants down to pee? What a horribly sexist assumption! Why, just the other day … nah, you’re right.
    But I do change my underwear every day. And I don’t watch American Idol.

  8. For YouTube videos, copy and paste the “embed” code into your page’s HTML.
    As for midgets, there are plenty of them in NYC.

  9. Loved you blogg. I nerver seam to find the need to shave either except in the summer, then It’s just once a week . If you can see the stubble you’re too damn close. Hugs Mary

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