Giving them the business

For personal reasons (don’t ask) I’ve decided to strike out on my own business-wise, so I’m flogging my company, Tart Cookies back to life. This involves a whole lot of red tape, creating new accounts, and designing a logo that doesn’t look like a third grader’s rendition of two giraffes copulating (and you thought they were reading National Geographic for the stimulating articles).

Since I can’t afford pot roast, I thought I’d look into grants for small businesses. The internet tells me that the government is throwing free money at anyone with a pulse. I thought I’d look into it now, since the end of the Mayan calendar is just around the corner. (It’s also the reason that I’m not currently looking for a parking spot at the mall.)

For a modest fee, a team of experts will guide me through the process with no guarantees that I’ll get the grant. This smacks strongly of “bend over and take it in the rear.” I know that trying to find a grant on my own would take me into the next millennium (assuming the world doesn’t end), so I’ll start my business the old fashioned way—hemorrhaging money like a gaping chest wound.

They say you’ve got to spend money to make money. Done and done. In less than a month, my fledgling business has spent $250 and made $16. I love it when a plan comes together.

Still, I have full artistic license up the wazoo. I can write about vegetarian cannibals and rise or fall depending on my writing and marketing skills. Fortunately, I have a dear friend who works as my marketing director. I pay her in Three Musketeer bars and empty promises. She researches advertising, sets up gigs for me, and nags me about having my business cards handy at all times. I kind of suck at all the above, so I’m truly blessed to have her on my team. (Hee hee, I have a team.)

I’ve re-published Box of Rocks under my own label, and hope to have my humor book out in February or March. Wish me luck, and you can send contributions to hopelessoptimist.com.

10 thoughts on “Giving them the business

  1. You know that I wish you and your new company all the best, my dear friend! I have no doubt that you will be successful. Your writing is the product and it speaks for itself. I cannot wait for your new book to come out. Please let me know how I can help. I will happily spread the word, and have you guest-post on my blog any time you want. As you know, I’m branching out on my own as well, and I have but a fraction of the experience you have. But again, my writing is my product and I believe in my work. I just have to figure out how to “get it out there”.
    Hugs, my friend!
    Terri

    • Producing quality writing is something you do well. Getting it out there isn’t easy for any of us. So glad you won’t have to be dealing with public relations too much longer. And, holy cow, it’s almost December – successfully completing grad school. You are my hero!

  2. Best of luck, Karla!

    Vegetarian cannibals. I can see the google search results that are going to get drawn in by that!

    • I don’t suppose those tags come up very often. I’ll be interested to see what comes up from “copulating giraffes.”

  3. Karla, I really, really want to ask what happened, but since you’ve forbidden it, I will just wish you all the best with Tart Cookies. You’re a talented author and your fans and friends will be rooting for you!

    Is this too sappy?

    • I like sappy, except in Hallmark cards. I appreciate your continuing support. You helped give me courage to write a novel in the first place (in case you didn’t know it).

    • Thanks, Deb. I only feel slightly overwhelmed right now, while I’m getting my ducks in a row. (And why do people want to line up ducks anyway?)

  4. I already read Box of Rocks do I have to buy the new one too? I mean I loved it and one copy will suffice for now. You never know though….
    Congrats on the new biz. Sounds like you need an accountant too. 🙂

    • Don’t worry, old book, new label. Actually, I’m pretty good at accounting, as long as you don’t count doing taxes, tracking expenses, recording income, …

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