Living small with a drawl

How do you measure success? Does the one with the most toys win? I use the toilet bowl method. The fewer I have to clean, the more successful I am. Since my kids left home, I have been downsizing to the point where I have one bed, a couch, and a few mouse droppings. The mouse is living more lavishly than I am.

When they laid the concrete pad for my house, I could walk across it in a few steps. Now that I have to negotiate walls, baby gates, and dog chew toys, it takes a couple extra steps to get from point A (my bed) to point B (my refrigerator).

My bed and refrigerator are both located in the south. I moved to South Carolina five years ago for a) the lower cost of living; b) warmer weather; and c) cheaper cigarettes—don’t hate me because I smoke. I discovered a land of rare beauty, and people who aren’t (contrary to popular opinion) idiots—until they get behind the wheel.

I’ve been here long enough that I drink sweet tea, call strangers “hon,” and have a growing contempt for the condescending attitude of northerners. We put our camouflage hunting pants on one leg at a time just like you do.

The south is a wonderful place to simplify your life. There’s no work—simple. It’s too hot to leave the house in the summer—simple. I enjoy the simple pleasure of napping during a football game, although the people in the sports bar look at me pretty funny. Maybe it’s because I wake up with my head on the table and barbecue sauce in my hair.

I would highly recommend South Carolina to all you Yankeelanders who want to escape the rat race that is Bismark, North Dakota. You’ll find a warm welcome, a glass of sweet tea, and a mouse in your garage.

15 thoughts on “Living small with a drawl

  1. What a sweet real estate endorsement. I feel like packing up my bags and coming down–wait, I’m down South even farther. No rat race per se, although we do have a picky eater in the attic– it has gone through the cheese in two traps, hates peanut butter and is able to steal salami right out from the mechanism without setting it off. No wonder those Northerners are condescending–they use poison!

  2. I LOVE the South.

    And I own a bunch of property in Lancaster South Carolina if you scare up any potential transplants. Since i now live in Texas, it’s all for sale. LOL.

    Beautiful post, Karla.

  3. Well, I have been trying to figure out where to retire, and I would keep your invitation under advisement. However. When I first started reading your blog, you mentioned something about spiders and snakes…..a lot of them….and for me, that’s like putting up a “Dangerous Radiation Zone – Keep Out” sign. And then you add a mouse to the mix? My partner would implode at the thought.

    I am southern though, ya’ll, and I loves me some sweet tea! When I visit my Dad in Georgia, I also enjoy some of his homemade muscadine wine. YUMS.

    • Add alligators to the mix and you’ve got the Chernobyl of creepy crawlies. Drink enough of your Dad’s wine and you won’t even notice the gator chewing on your leg.

  4. North Dakota has the lowest tourism of any state. I’m not surprised.

    The mouse is adorable. Does he have a name?

  5. Are the beaches nice in South Carolina? I love the ocean and warm weather but sadly I’m living in a land locked frozen tundra (Wisconsin). It’s a long story. Someday I’ll win the lottery and I can retire to a beach house!

    • The beaches here are beautiful, if you’re wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. The few public beaches are pretty nice too.

  6. Loved this post. Alas, S. Carolina has humidity. Here in the West it is hot and dry. My kind of heat. Sounds like you’re happy there and that is what is important.

  7. I have to agree with Terri – although that life sound lovely, camo pants and all, I’ve been to Arkansas, which is far enough south and there are serious creepy crawlies that give me the heeby-jeebies.

    But as for downsizing, I couldn’t agree more! I so look forward to downsizing when retired… to something small, cozy and can be cleaned in under an hour!

    I came over via Terri!

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