Still stupid after all these years

You’d think at my age I would have seen every trick in the book. I look at people who give away their life savings to some shyster and think, that would save a lot of baby moose from rifle-toting Alaskan governors. Give early, give often.

Yesterday, I received a yellow post card in the mail that said “important notice,” so I knew that it must have some Earth-shattering significance. I immediately called the toll free number and gave my credit card information to the nice woman who claimed to be from my college alumni association. Never mind that the return address was in Virginia, and my alma mater is in Seattle.

I never received the email link from them, and when I tried to call them back, they wanted me to oprime numero dos para Español, then cheerily announced that they were closed for the day, contrary to the hours of operation printed on the card. I sooo did not want to cancel my credit card and make up some story to the bank about huffing too much glue while watching reruns of Survivor. I’m sure they get that all the time.

Actually, the man at the bank was very nice and didn’t give me a hard time for parking my brains in a red zone. Mom promised me that one day I would be older and wiser. At least she got one of them right.

Today I’m putting all the scammers out there on notice. All you’re going to get out of me is my name, rank, and social security number.

12 thoughts on “Still stupid after all these years

  1. Don’t forget to give them your bank access codes. Come on, they’re all just doing their best to get ahead in a cutthroat scammer-eat-scammer world. They need friends too who are willing to get cleaned out at the bank…

  2. I’m almost positive that they were going to most likely, probably, maybe going to buy you a really nice parting gift for giving away all your money to them.

  3. Point me in the direction of the bad guys and I will kick some arse. OH, the bad guys are in your phone? Those little varmints hold-up in the tiniest of places. I have a couple of them in my computer. Where’s that can of Raid?

  4. Hope you’re totally kidding and nothing like this ever happens.
    Some creeps just fooled my husband and he had to cancel our discover card!
    It’s the loss of the discover card that’s eatin’ at me! LOL

    • Sadly, it’s all true. This credit card has been with me for eight years, and given another decade or so, I might have memorized the number. I shall miss you, little Visa card.

  5. Did Karla get her pony?

    Is her brain still parked in the Red Zone?

    Is she now older and wiser?

    Tune in tomorrow….

  6. oh my
    well, i did something similar not all that long ago
    too embarrassing to share
    cost me actual money
    hey we may not get wiser, but everything else gets better with age, right???

  7. “For the deed to your house and a life insurance policy directed to benefit me, we’ll throw in a free vacuum cleaner. No warranty, I’m afraid, but trust us, it’ll last for years to come. It’ll have to, because after I’ve cleaned out your bank accounts, you’ll be spending your golden years as a maid service. Did I say that last part out loud?”

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