That’s why we can’t have nice things

First, I’d like to give a big shout out and thank you to the makers of Febreeze. My cat is currently playing with the belt of my robe—looking darn cute. This is the same cat who decided yesterday to use my couch as a litter box. Little wretch!

I thought that when the kids left home, I’d be able to get some nice furniture: the kind that comes from a store instead of somebody’s basement or garage sale. Turns out that an empty nest is no guarantee that your prized possessions will be immune from the seven plagues of Egypt. The Egyptians revered cats, so don’t try to tell me there weren’t any ancient couches used as scratching posts.

Not to worry. After pet odor eliminator, Febreeze, steam cleaning, and more Febreeze, my couch smells marginally better. I guess I should consider myself fortunate that the cat hasn’t figured out how to drink from a juice box.

I see shows about hoarders and think, there, but for the grace of God go I. In spite of their annoying characteristics, I love cats. Their independent spirit and failure to come when called is rather endearing. Could I become the woman living in a single-wide trailer with twenty-seven feline vandals? I could be about to find out.

My best friend is moving away in a few weeks. My husband is considering taking a tour of duty in Afghanistan for a year, and I know that he can count. If I have more cats when he comes home than I did when he left, he will notice. So I must be strong. My husband is counting on it, my furniture is counting on it, and I don’t think Wal-Mart stocks enough Febreeze if I start taking in strays.

Public Enemy #1 - Considered armed and dangerous

9 thoughts on “That’s why we can’t have nice things

  1. Love Public Enemy #1. Reminds me of Simon, the last cat I had. I miss her. I can’t even tell you how many times I locked her in my closet (by mistake of course!) and she just laid there patiently until I found her. She never did her business in the closet, but did seem to find my favorite shoes to lounge in while she cleaned herself. Oh Joy.

  2. fave: I should consider myself fortunate that the cat hasn’t figured out how to drink from a juice box.

  3. He’s a lot cuter than the guys on the FBI’s most wanted list.

    Karla, you should have lived with my crew. When a house I’d leased was foreclosed upon by the bank, their realtor said she couldn’t believe that many critters lived in the house and there was no damage or odor. And that was the pre-Febreeze era.

    It wasn’t easy. I used to put a bit of bleach in the carpet shampooer.

  4. I spent a bit of time living with a woman who had 14 cats…

    Just watching her routine of hefting a 50-pound bag of litter and going around the house to all the kitty toilets was lesson enough for me 🙂

  5. I woke up in the middle of last night and went downstairs to find one of my cats puking on the rug. My middle-of-the-night logic told me that I didn’t want to clean up the stuff while it was still warm. Worked perfectly — when I woke up this morning, my husband had already cleaned it up.

  6. We’re still, to this day, having problems with odor from two areas of the carpet, from when my daughter’s cats stayed there — and that was three years ago.

    • The stuff is insidious. As I recall, you’re allergic. That’s just adding insult to injury.

  7. Well I’m potty training a toddler at the moment….so I’m having to scrub carpets and wipe her butt…a LOT! Sometimes she doesn’t even try to make it to the bathroom. She just squats and pees on the floor! I’m thinking about buying some of those puppy potty training pads.

  8. Public enemy #1 looks absolutely adorable.

    When in doubt, spray catnip on the leg of a relative you don’t like.

Comments are closed.