What are you wearing, baby?

You know the drill. Pick on some poor hapless blogger, and challenge them to answer the following nine questions about their underwear. Boy, William, did you pick the wrong blogger!

1. What do you call your underwear / undergarments?

It’s usually pretty dark when I’m rooting around in my drawer in the mornings. When I pull one out to examine it, I usually call it “too small”, “too ratty”, or “instant wedgie”.

2. Have you ever had that supposedly common dream of being in a crowded place in only your underwear?

Nope. I’ve frequently dreamt that I was naked in a class or at a party. My overriding thought is, “just act natural and nobody will notice.”

3. What is the worst thing you can think of to make underwear out of?

Duct tape. You’ll never want to take them off.

4. If you were a pair of panties, what color would you be?

White. Hey, I’m old.

5. Have you ever thrown your underwear at a rock star or other celebrity? If so, which one(s)? If not, which one(s) would you throw your underwear at, given the opportunity?

No. If I could, I’d throw them at Carrot Top. He’s annoying enough that he deserves a good dose of E Coli.

6. You’re out of clean underwear. What do you do?

In the back of my drawer I have a black silk loincloth. It takes a mechanical engineering degree to figure out all the straps and buckles. I reserve it only for dire laundry emergencies.

7. Are you old enough to remember Underroos? If so, did you have any? Which ones?

Underroos were after my time. I’m old enough that all underwear came in plain vanilla.

8. If you could have any message printed on your underwear, what would it be?

Wide load.

9. How many bloggers does it take to put panties on a goat?

One, as long as it’s William. He could sweet-talk a goat into anything. I still have the pictures to prove it.