Forget the pony

In a few weeks I’ll turn 54, and my birthday wish list bears no resemblance to the lists of my youth:

  • Laser skin tag removal to get rid of those two new bumps on my lip. They draw attention to the mustache;
  • More energy to keep up with my puppy, my chores, and my channel surfing;
  • Full range of motion in my shoulders, in case I ever get arrested, cuffed and stuffed. (Yes, I actually worry about that.);
  • Ability to turn off my turn signal after making a lane change;
  • My old metabolism, so I won’t gain weight just looking at the birthday cake;
  • Eyes that will stop deteriorating long enough so I can finish making the payments on my existing reading glasses;
  • Cognitive ability to remember where I parked my car without taking two laps around the parking lot;
  • The ability to sleep through the night, preferably without drooling;
  • An anti-perspirant holster so I’ll always be prepared for hot flashes;
  • A new bra: size extra long;

I’d like to always remember what the years have given me instead of worrying about what they’re taking away. I’m still working on it.

3 thoughts on “Forget the pony

  1. I’m right there with the laser removal and my old metabolism. What’s with these stupid skin things growing and hanging off like some alien parasites? And I love eating too much to change my diet to air and steam. Happy soon-to-be birthday. Live it up!

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