Maggie: Whose asinine idea was this anyway?

Cher: Calm down, darling. I think it could be fun.

Maggie: Says the lady who doesn’t have to shop in the “husky” department of Victoria’s Secret. Ah, hell, let’s get it over with.

Cher: Maybe some introductions would be in order.

Maggie: *sigh* You may know us from Karla Telega’s mystery book, Box of Rocks, although I think Karla took a few liberties in describing us. At no time did I ever yell “shark” at the beach. Although, in my defense, I had been drinking heavily, and that pelican did look like a dorsal fin. I thought I said it rather calmly.

Cher: Ummm, that really didn’t come up in the book.

Maggie: Oh … moving on. Well, Cher and I are what you might call mature.

Cher: I think the politically correct term is Youth Challenged.

Maggie: The point is, at our age, underwear is kind of a delicate topic.

Cher: Quit stalling, darling.

Maggie: *sigh*

1. What do you call your underwear / undergarments?

Maggie: I just go with panties.

Cher: My naughty things.

Maggie: *snickers*

2. Have you ever had that supposedly common dream of being in a crowded place in only your underwear?

Cher: Frequently.

Maggie: Once I dreamt that I was at the gynecologist’s. I looked down and realized that I hadn’t shaved my legs in a couple of months.

3. What is the worst thing you can think of to make underwear out of?

Maggie: Sandpaper.

Cher: Bubble wrap. Sitting down would be embarrassing.

Maggie: Ooh, good one. Can I change my answer?

4. If you were a pair of panties, what color would you be?

Cher: Black.

 

 

 

Maggie: Beige … Fluffy! Bad doggy!!

 

 

5. Have you ever thrown your underwear at a rock star or other celebrity? If so, which one(s)? If not, which one(s) would you throw your underwear at, given the opportunity?

Cher: Sammy Davis, Jr. I was six, and Rosie Jenkins dared me to do it.

Maggie: Wasn’t he a friend of your mom’s?

Cher: Yeah. He told mom about it, and I wasn’t allowed to go backstage again for years.

Maggie: That’s harsh. My luck, I’d get arrested if I tried.

6. You’re out of clean underwear. What do you do?

Maggie: Hypothetically, not to say that it’s ever happened, I suppose I’d wear a pair of Ted’s boxers.

Cher: But two weeks ago, you said …

Maggie: Moving on!

7. Are you old enough to remember Underroos? If so, did you have any? Which ones?

Maggie: Honey, I’m old enough to remember rotary dial phones.

Cher: And flour sifters.

Maggie: And penny candy.

Cher: Oof! I need a nap.

8. If you could have any message printed on your underwear, what would it be?

Maggie: Inspected by number two.

Cher: *giggles*

9. How many bloggers does it take to put panties on a goat?

Cher: Well, Karla’s a blogger.

Maggie: I could see her trying to put panties on a goat.

Cher: I see her more as a cow tipper.

Karla: You’re making me look bad.

Maggie: Says the woman who forced us to take this challenge.

Cher: No sympathy. We need to choose some other poor saps to challenge.

Maggie: You really want to put someone else through this?

Cher: I want to get roaring drunk and forget this ever happened.

Maggie: I have a box of cheap white wine in the fridge.

Cher: Sold!

Karla: But you’re supposed to … Damn!