Maggie: Whose asinine idea was this anyway?
Cher: Calm down, darling. I think it could be fun.
Maggie: Says the lady who doesn’t have to shop in the “husky” department of Victoria’s Secret. Ah, hell, let’s get it over with.
Cher: Maybe some introductions would be in order.
Maggie: *sigh* You may know us from Karla Telega’s mystery book, Box of Rocks, although I think Karla took a few liberties in describing us. At no time did I ever yell “shark” at the beach. Although, in my defense, I had been drinking heavily, and that pelican did look like a dorsal fin. I thought I said it rather calmly.
Cher: Ummm, that really didn’t come up in the book.
Maggie: Oh … moving on. Well, Cher and I are what you might call mature.
Cher: I think the politically correct term is Youth Challenged.
Maggie: The point is, at our age, underwear is kind of a delicate topic.
Cher: Quit stalling, darling.
1. What do you call your underwear / undergarments?
Maggie: I just go with panties.
Cher: My naughty things.
2. Have you ever had that supposedly common dream of being in a crowded place in only your underwear?
Maggie: Once I dreamt that I was at the gynecologist’s. I looked down and realized that I hadn’t shaved my legs in a couple of months.
3. What is the worst thing you can think of to make underwear out of?
Cher: Bubble wrap. Sitting down would be embarrassing.
Maggie: Ooh, good one. Can I change my answer?
4. If you were a pair of panties, what color would you be?
Maggie: Beige … Fluffy! Bad doggy!!
5. Have you ever thrown your underwear at a rock star or other celebrity? If so, which one(s)? If not, which one(s) would you throw your underwear at, given the opportunity?
Cher: Sammy Davis, Jr. I was six, and Rosie Jenkins dared me to do it.
Maggie: Wasn’t he a friend of your mom’s?
Cher: Yeah. He told mom about it, and I wasn’t allowed to go backstage again for years.
Maggie: That’s harsh. My luck, I’d get arrested if I tried.
6. You’re out of clean underwear. What do you do?
Maggie: Hypothetically, not to say that it’s ever happened, I suppose I’d wear a pair of Ted’s boxers.
Cher: But two weeks ago, you said …
Maggie: Moving on!
7. Are you old enough to remember Underroos? If so, did you have any? Which ones?
Maggie: Honey, I’m old enough to remember rotary dial phones.
Cher: And flour sifters.
Maggie: And penny candy.
Cher: Oof! I need a nap.
8. If you could have any message printed on your underwear, what would it be?
Maggie: Inspected by number two.
9. How many bloggers does it take to put panties on a goat?
Cher: Well, Karla’s a blogger.
Maggie: I could see her trying to put panties on a goat.
Cher: I see her more as a cow tipper.
Karla: You’re making me look bad.
Maggie: Says the woman who forced us to take this challenge.
Cher: No sympathy. We need to choose some other poor saps to challenge.
Maggie: You really want to put someone else through this?
Cher: I want to get roaring drunk and forget this ever happened.
Maggie: I have a box of cheap white wine in the fridge.
Karla: But you’re supposed to … Damn!