Transcendental medication

For centuries religious groups have extolled the virtues of meditation. Now the medical community has gotten onboard with the value of emptying your mind for twenty minutes a day. Unfortunately, as I get older, I tend to sleep through eighteen minutes and think of inane stuff for the other two.

“Ohm, Did I remember to take the clothes out of the dryer?”

“Ohm, why do they even make B vitamins, then stock them on the shelf next to Super B Complex? Doesn’t everyone want to get more B for their buck?”

And so it goes. Increasingly, my mind chooses to go blank in the middle of a conversation, or when I’m driving the same route that I take every day. This can make for some interesting discussions.

Daughter: My favorite is maple donuts.

Son: I wonder if they use real maple or artificial flavoring.

Daughter: Real maple is probably too expensive.

Son: I hear that artificial flavoring has been known to cause tumors in lab rats.

Daughter: That’s awful! They should do away with animal testing completely.

Me: I like maple donuts.

I have seven books on my shelf that give daily meditation subjects to give a kick start on things to ponder while I’m searching for that elusive alpha state. My alpha state is reserved for when I pass out while watching TV or working on the computer. Right now my mind is slipping into picturing fish ladders at hydroelectric dams. I challenge you to find the hidden meaning in that.

I think there’s some sort of irony in the fact that I can only seem to meditate when I’m not trying. I’m hoping that this is a common condition of aging and not zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz just happening to me.