Have you ever tried peeling a pair of Spanx down to your ankles every time you need to pee? (Guys, you’ll just have to use your imaginations.) There’s that desperation point where the waist band is rolling over your bladder, and the pressure and urgency are enough to bring tears to your eyes. Writing is like that.
Today, I’m having trouble trying to squeeze out a rational thought without spewing musings on the effects of Cool Ranch Doritos on my breath. By the way, I heartily recommend the consumption of Doritos if there’s any chance you might be arrested and thrown into a holding cell with that twitchy little guy that everyone avoids.
Other mental garbage includes: Why did God choose someplace as barren as the middle east for the cradle of civilization? How many colors of crayons are they up to now? Why do front loading washers get that funk odor on a regular basis?
These are the thoughts that pop into my head when I’m trying to avoid the elephant in the room. This is my personal elephant:
Six years ago, a young couple living in a bad neighborhood decided to get a dog. They went to the pound and found a scarred up Rottweiller of indeterminate age. The card on his crate stated that he had serious social issues. He was aggressive, and bad with strangers, children, and other dogs. He was slated to be put down. Naturally, they fell in love.
Skeeter came home with them that day and filled their lives with joy. They didn’t want children, and Skeeter’s issues sealed the deal on that score. Skeeter especially loved Grandma (me) and pie. Say them both in a sentence and he lost his shit.
Sunday, Skeeter was diagnosed with advanced lymphoma, and my kids are devastated. I’ve been spending a lot of time at their house, comforting them, and just being there for Skeet. The meds are making him more comfortable, but we expect that he only has days to live.
All rules are out, and he’s being spoiled silly. You want pie? You want Grandma? You want Grandma to give you pie? No problem. Our time with our four-footed family members is so limited. Do me a favor and give your pets an extra hug for me today.
