I grew up in a simpler time when parents could smack the snot out of you with impunity. My mom once told me that she preferred a wooden spoon for spankings because it stung real good without leaving a mark. Most muggings are not thought out so well.

In a recent video gone viral, a stepfather is seen spanking a child because he dropped a ball while playing catch. This spawned a backlash of public outrage from the same parents who get ejected from the little league game for publicly berating their athletically challenged offspring.

While dropping a ball is a crappy reason for hitting your child, I can think of dozens of good reasons for a good swat to the tooshie.

You hear people say, “Never strike your child in anger.” While I agree that you should probably extinguish the cat’s tail before ripping the matches out of Junior’s hand and putting him over your knee, it seems a little cold-hearted to wait two weeks till your blood pressure returns to normal before punishing the little pyromaniac.

New studies have shown that spankings can cause mood disorders in adults. Old studies have shown that spankings can cause good behavior in kids. Guess which one I choose.

I recently sat next to a family while their children were having a food fight in the Golden Corral. The parents ignored the lovable antics. If I’m picking mashed potatoes out of my hair, I promise you that I’ll be first in line to put your child into therapy.

Another video showed a bus monitor enduring poking and horrible verbal abuse from her young charges. Not one parent made their children apologize when they found out. My kid would have his backside burning as he walked to school.

Choose your punishments carefully, and the few times you have to resort to spankings will make a bigger impression … on their butts.